


When Time Stops

by DevilsPetVolpe



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Derek, Hurt Stiles, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Derek, Scott is a Bad Friend, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3797725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilsPetVolpe/pseuds/DevilsPetVolpe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been romanticized that the beepers would go off and life would be happily ever after. Gumdrops and rainbows. That wasn't going to be the case with his, he could just sense it. Not with -Please Derek it's not my fault- lining his hip bone. He didn't know what his future would hold but their first meeting will not be a good one. It was too much for a six year old to take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soulmates Never Die

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning and ending lyrics and title of the chapter are from Placebo's song "Sleeping with ghosts". The Lyrics in the middle are from Placebo's song "Blind". This first chapter is all in Derek's point of view the next will be Stiles' and it will go combined for all chapters following as well as a few new POV's
> 
>  
> 
> Be nice its unbeta'd, let me know if you find any mistakes I will fix them.

_**It seems it's written** _

_**But we can't read between the line** _

__

_**Hush**_

_**It's okay** _

__

_**Soul mate dry your eye** _

_**Dry your eye** _

_**  
**_

Age: 6

Derek's had his soul mark since he was born, as most wolves did. He was six years old and at the earliest age to get a beeper. With recent developments science has made a chip that can be inserted under the skin (commonly on the inside of the wrist) that helps speed up the search. It will beep, much like a watch alarm, when in close contact with your fated one. It's safe, even for children so young but most parents like to wait until they are older.

He didn't want the beeper, but his mother was forcing him to get it. He tried to argue with her, saying that his wolf would find them or if that failed the words would do it. That's what they were for. A soul mark to find your soul mate. But that wasn't the reason he didn't want the chip. It's been romanticized that the beepers would go off and life would be happily ever after. Gumdrops and rainbows. That wasn't going to be the case with his, he could just sense it. Not with - _ **Please Derek it's not my fault**_ \- lining his hip bone. He didn't know what his future would hold but their first meeting will not be a good one. It was too much for a six year old to take.

Talia signed the forms as Deaton sat Derek up on the table. He  slipped the chip under the skin and the cut healed in seconds. It didn't beep to life yet. Derek wasn't sure if he was relieved by that fact or more anxious. It wasn't unusual in his case. It just meant his soul mate didn't have theirs yet. Either because of parents, they aren't old enough or possibly they aren't even born yet.

Age: 12

Derek forgot about it, years passed and as he got older other children started to get their beepers. A few of the soft tones giving a steady rhythm from around him.

He was in 6th grade when his came to life. It beeped twice in quick succession then regulated out to the normal tone every few minutes or so. A wave of excitement crashed into him then swallowed him in a whirlpool of fear. His one and only got their chip. He was drowning it, all became so much more real.

When recess came he excused himself to the nurse complaining of fake stomach pains. He was afraid that if he got running around with the other kids he wouldn't stop running. The nurse called his mother and she picked him up.

They didn't talk about it in the car but his mother didn't miss the new background noise either. She’d seen his mark and got an idea about his panic. She let him be and told the pack to as well.

 

Age: 14

Derek knew his life would be hell, he did but knowing didn't help the hurt. He was alone, waiting for his sister to pick him up from basketball practice. She texted him earlier that she would be a few minutes later than usual.

He didn't notice it immediately  but when he did his heart fell. It was silent. Too silent, he looked at his wrist. It stopped. He held his breath counting the seconds. Maybe he was mistaken. He wasn't, it still hadn't beeped. He sat in suspense willing it to start up again.

He panicked and didn't notice Laura pulling into the parking lot. His eyes never left his wrist and his ears didn't catch Laura’s steps or how they quickened in pace when she heard his heart rate skyrocket. She crouched in front of him. He only noticed her when she grabbed his elbows. He gasped, lungs filling desperately with the air he denied the.

“What's wrong Derek?” she said in a tight voice.

Now that he let himself breathe he couldn't stop, his breath came in shallow quick gasps. he pushed his wrist into her chest as means of an answer. 

She didn't understand, but she grabbed it rubbing her thumb over his pulse. She gripped his chin, going to force him to look at her but before she could ask the question again she got her answer. It came out as a sob. " It stopped" Derek sounded so broken.

He stared at her and she realized the only sound she heard was their heart, Derek's accelerated breathes and her chip. She hugged him not sure what it meant. He started to cry and she just let him. He was only 14 for gods sake's "come on" she got him to his feet and walked him to her car.  Once situated inside she called their mother then sped out of the lot. Derek sat silently staring at his wrist lost to the rest of the world.

"Mom" Laura cried into the speaker once the call connected. "I need you now. Somethings wrong, I don't know what it is. Derek, his beeper. It stopped. I don't know what it means. 

Talia took an early lunch to tend to her children's crisis. She waited in the parking lot of her law firm and watched her daughter half haphazardly pull into a spot. Her shoes clicked as she crossed the blacktop to the passenger side and where her panicked son was. "Derek honey" she called to get his attention. She reached for his wrist, holding it gently when he let her. " what happened? Did you hit it?" 

"No it was fine then i just stopped." His voice was strained and cut off.  He knew it wasn't him, it was the other side malfunctioning. His mate, his fated one, had tried to remove the beeper.

And just as he thought it, his chip beeped to life. Much like the first time, two quick tones as if it never started in the first place. He breathed a sigh of relief. 

"It'll be okay Derek" His mother told him, but he was already emotionally wrecked.

 

 

A seed had been planted in Derek's head and time only helped it grow. After that incident Derek started to close off. The only reason he could think for it to stop was that his side doesn't want him. Thoughts of another teen his age roughly cutting their wrists and shoving something underneath to remove the chip. Something like a butter knife or screwdriver.  The thoughts plagued him. 

It worsened further when not a week later it stopped again. this time at home where his only comfort was his pack. It started up 10 or so minutes later but his panic never stopped. It now plagued not only his thoughts but his dreams twisting them into nightmares to the point he wakes the others up in the middle of the night by his noises. 

 

 

Derek finally thought he was okay. Not perfect, not yet, but holding up. It's been two weeks since the chip last faltered and two and a half since it first happened. Maybe it was a glitch. A broken wrist that messed with the mechanics or something along that nature. He just over-reacted it was fine. 

He was in English, surprisingly one of the few classes he likes. The teacher was a nice older woman who loved him. He caught himself drifting off, simply focusing on the comforting beep until it grew a much less comforting rhythm then stopped.

He gripped at his hair and tugged at it, growling out his frustrations. His teacher took him out into the hall, confused by his behavior. When asked about it he simply replied "nothings wrong" and ignored it. Eventually he told her it was personal stuff. She wrote him a pass to the guidance office which he never talked to. She probably knew his issue anyways, though Talia or Deaton. It started back up before he reached the office. 

 

 

The worst was when one day it shut off for two hours. The pack sat in anticipation, glancing at Derek every so often. His eyes screamed a plea of help but his mouth never moved. Their boy was breaking. 

The beeping got to a point it never stayed consistent. Either too slow or too fast, skipping a tone or changing in pitch. His friends noticed, so did his classmates. He started to close off and everyone worried. Beacon hills high was walking on a tightrope. 

 

Age:15

He met Paige a year later. She didn't have her mark yet and her parents didn't believe in the beeper system. 

She knew he had a beeper. Knew the words on his hip weren't her's. Knew they weren't fated to be. She knew but she didn't care. Derek was a loving boy and she (like everyone else) heard the stuttered beet of his chip. She took pity on him but more so she connected with him. Not just in the case of an uncertain  future involving a seemingly non-existent mate. No they were similar yet just enough different to work.  

Derek's mother did not approve of his action -she had strong feelings for soul mates- but she could not stop him either. 

Derek and Paige flourished together. He got it in his head that fate fucked up and put him with the wrong person. Paige was his love not this person who he shared a beeper and fucked it up.

 

 

Derek was being punished. He couldn't hold up hope so he connected with another. He wished he never got involved with Paige. If this was his problem why did she have to suffer. 

It was an accident. He cried as he held her dying form. Her blood was on his hand now, both metaphorical and literal. He never meant for her to die. It was all his fault

 

Age: 16

It was self destruction that led to this. Not even six months since the gold became blue he fell fell in bed with a student teacher. She was rough and all sharp edges the complete opposite of Paige. She was mature and beautiful and exactly what he needed. Or so he thought. They lasted a few weeks until his uncle Peter found out. He tore into him, yelling at his stupidity. She used a fake name (Katie Silverstone) how was he to know she was an Argent. He didn't mean to endanger his family.

Maybe he did know, subconsciously waiting for that knife in his back. Waiting for death to overcome him. Let her do what he couldn't, since she was too weak to do it himself. 

She attacked but failed thanks to Peter. 

 **I'd fill your every breath with meaning,**  
**And find a place we both could hide.**  
**Don't go and leave me,**  
**And please don't drive me blind,**

**I know we're broken**

Age 20

Derek didn't have any major issues after that. It took about a year or so but his chip regulated back out. Beeping right along with the others. It was radio silence there for awhile. It had been 4 years after Kate, 3 years of regulation, 2 years of college and 1 year of feeling normal for once.

Talia and him were to only ones home today. Peter drifted in and out as he pleases -which was usual. Laura had moved out a few months prior and settled in with her mate (heartbreaking in many ways for Derek). It was just him, his younger sister Cora and his two little brothers at this point. His father was off collecting his younger siblings from school.

"Mom" He'd called. Talia hearing the slight panic in Derek's voice. She rushed into the room. He may be 20 years old but in that moment he didn't look older than 15. Scared eyes flicked over to her general direction "Mom I can't see." A knot formed in her throat. "Everything's gray mom. Mom what's going on." She pushed back tears.

She knew, she knew and it tore her apart. Your body will deteriorate over time if your other half is no longer on this earth. The effects start when they are fatally injure or dying in anyway. Color blindness is the first of those effects, it only gets worse from there. It can be maintained, but most don't make it through. The sheriff was the only special case in this county. That's thanks to his son. (for maintaining him and giving him reason to live)

A tear slips down her cheek. Talia doesn't think Derek would be one of the exceptions. He couldn't live through more heart break. 

Peter wandered back into the house, sensing the panic he finds himself in the living room with them. Teary met confused as the siblings shared a look. Derek turned his nose up "Peter" which confused Peter greatly. "You would know, what does it mean to see grays. It's all unfocused and blurry." It dawned on Peter then. 

Pity filled the uncle's eyes as he gazed onto the boy. "It means your mate's not doing to well." Talia let out a sob  and Peter gave a watery sigh. "both of you are dying". Hearing Peter say it Talia began to full on cry.

Derek never heard her cry. Not like this, which only proves it to be real and that scared him. He really was dying this time.

 

Derek got worse, he ran a high fever and was bed ridden, everything ached. That lasted 2 days then he slowly got better. Without knowing his mate Derek couldn't know if his mate got better too. Maybe he was an exception. It would be his luck to live forever alone. 

He was on his feet by the end of the week, sluggish but up. He regained eye sight 2 weeks later. No longer the blurry mess it used to be, it was back to being sharp and clear. His color sight was another story, he lost color permanently in his right eye the left corrected itself. Life was a living headache after that. 

Once fully functioning he noticed his beeper was irregular again. It wasn't hard to connect the dots. 

 

Age: 25

He graduated college 2 years later and life went on as normal. He got a job, started doing things he wanted to do. He closed off completely to those who weren't family. His beeper fluctuated from being normal to all over the place on the drop of a hat.

He met his destined one five years after their shared near deaths. It was during a week long episode of inconsistency. He was constantly in a bad mood because of it. It was Cora's freshman year of college. Because of this it wasn't unusual for Derek to being hanging out on campus with her. She didn't like the place and he liked the closeness of pack. 

All of the other first years were mandatory to stay in a dorm. With Talia's and Peters quick tongues they were able to talk the school into letting them commute (much like they did for Derek). 

Derek was on his way to pick up his little sister since her car didn't want to start that morning. When he reached where he knew her to be he was greeted by a screaming match. Cora had gotten into it with tree other kids. It didn't take much for Derek to recognize the other woman to be an Argent. A boy got between the Argent and Cora, recognizing her for the threat she could be. The girls were really  going at it. The boy ended up shoving Cora when she advanced onto them. The did not sit well with Derek. The other boy tugged at boy number one and yelled at him for assaulting a girl. 

When Derek reached the commotion he put a protective hand on Cora's shoulder. "Come on" He practically growled the command.  The Argent girl was pissed and called out to Cora's back that she was a coward.

The second boy let go of the other and yelled out "Allison!" in a rather scolding way. He got between them all, separating the pairs. He kept yelling "Guys" like that will help, he sounds desperate but Derek couldn't care less. 

When Derek turned to leave, leading his sister, the center boy approach ( probably thought he was helping) "Cora" he called weakly but she walked ahead of Derek instead of stopping. Derek stayed two steps behind her to separate her from any threats.

He felt a hand on his shoulder but he ripped his shoulder forward pulling it off of him. He turned to face the gangly boy "Stay the FUCK away from me" he spit out like venom. 

The boy's face fell instantly. "Please, Derek it's not my fault" The boy's words were strangled and tear welled in his eyes. Derek's heart plummeted, and like average Hale behavior he shut up and angerly walked away to mentally freak out alone. 

"Hey, you can't talk to my friend like that." Derek heard the other boy which cooled his panic and brought back his boiling anger toward the situation. He stalked back to his car where Cora was waiting for him at that point. 

Once in the car, he laid his head on the rest provided, not bothering to get out his keys as he mentally tortures himself. "Start the damn car." Cora snapped, completely missing the previous interaction. "What?" she asked when all Derek did is stare at the ceiling. 

"That was my mate." He said mournfully. "The one in the middle" he weakly gestured to the boy in front of them still staring in their direction. "He knew your name" he weakly provided.

"Stiles?" she questioned. Looking over at Derek's pale form. 

Derek dragged his hands over his face with a sigh. "Fuck" he hit the steering wheel. Cora silently watched the outburst. His beeper has been out of whack so he never noticed it. "Why were those my first words" he whined. 

"What were they?" she gently prodded.

"Stay the fuck away from me" and his time the words weren't threatening actually they were sad and hopeless. He started the car and drove away not feeling like dealing with it just yet. 

_**Damn their killing**_

_**Damn their lies** _

 

_**Soul mate dry your eye** _

_**Dry your eye** _

**_Soul mate_ ** _**dry your eye** _

_**Cause soul mates never die** _


	2. Protect me from what I want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning lyrics are from "Kings of medicine" the next set is "Holocaust" then following is " Meds" and lastly is "protect me from what i want" all of the songs are by Placebo. I own no rights on the songs.

**They're picking up pieces of me**  
**While they're picking up pieces of you**  
**In a bag you will be before the day is over**  

age: 6

The young boy bounced on the examination table. He couldn't wait. He has begged his mommy for weeks to let him get the chip. She found his excitement amusing. When she asked him why, he simply replied he couldn't wait to be loved like daddy loves her or her him. 

The doctor used a cotton swab on his wrist before making the incision. Even through the pain he never squirmed. Once the chip was in, the cut was taped and a batman Band-Aid was put on.

The ride home was filled with whines from the backseat as Stiles pushed and prodded at the chip. Claudia shared a look with John, both smiling. It slightly startled them that the chip started beeping immediately after being implanted. Their son's love must be just as excited as him.

That was the happiest day of his life.

 

Everyone stared at him, his teachers included but he just beamed with pride. He was the only six year old with a working beeper. He was the only six year old with a  _beeper._ _  
_

Age: 7

His mommy has been acting weird. Her words are slurring like she's always tired.  I hear her up at night sometime maybe that's why. She's even more awkward with people. She'll get angry or randomly do things out of the ordinary. Dad tells me not to worry about it but I can't help it. Dad will help her, I'm sure since he always takes care of her. 

 

He feels betrayed. His dad had a drink (his mommy says it's bad so why does he do it. He's a cop!) and ended up telling him his mommy was sick. Has been for a while. She's been going to secret doctor visits. 

 

His mom, (she's not mommy now, he's a big boy!) comes home less and less. She's at the hospital for long periods of time. Often weeks at a time. Not seeing his mom makes him sad. It shows at school as his activity levels decrease but no one seems to care. They all take joy in the fact even.

 

Claudia has been emitted permanently. He spends every day after school at the hospital. Anytime he finds a spare moment he's with his mother. They don't think he knows, but he does. He heard big words like fatal, dementia and frontotemporal. He was confused at first but when it came clear they planned on leaving him in the dark he researched it. He quickly learned through one online search that it meant there was no cure.

Claudia continues to get worse. Dad took up drinking to cope. Stiles started to skip school, no one noticed. He doesn't know if fate hated them or if his dad was throwing himself into work but John was around less. Stiles spent more time with sick Claudia than John did. If John wasn't drinking he was patrolling. 

Stiles stayed at the hospital more out of necessity than want now. With his dad never home he needed someone to watch him. His world has narrowed considerably. He focused on his mother mainly, her needs then his own. On the off chance he was home he works on cooking and keeping up the house. His cooking skills were considerably lacking, having to use the boxes directions to make basic meals.

 **Your eyes are almost dead**  
**can't get out of bed**  
**And you can't sleep**

 **She said**  
**"Don't be afraid"**

Age: 8

 His mom died. His father wasn't there. There had been an accident, a pile up collision. He was a just doing his job but Stiles couldn't forgive him. 

He stayed home for a week after the funeral. The only way he knew his dad noticed was because he filled out his absentee forms. 

Panic attacks became a thing. They started almost immediately. After the funeral he ran up to his room and collapsed on his bed crying. His sobbing turned into hyperventilation. He then curled into the fetal position and hid himself away from the world.

They became a common occurrence. The worst was at night. He would wake up in the heat of them and they could still last for up to four hours. He found that small enclosed spaces helped when one time he fell off the bed and in his panic hid under it. Eventually a blanket and pillow was hid there, and it wasn't long after that that he gave up sleeping on the bed entirely.

His dad developed a terrible cough. All was going down hill.

They got into a cycle. His dad would work, he'd get home from school and fix up dinner (still easy things). Then he'd set out his father's tumbler on the table with a bottle of jack Daniels and wait for his father to arrive.

One day Stiles was running late on their routine. He took too long making dinner (one of his mother's recipes). His dad came home while he was finishing it up and Stiles hurriedly set the table and laid out the plates. He ran to the kitchen grabbed a tumbler and the whiskey, he poured half a glass before he set it beside his father's plate. 

John's hand flew out and grabbed the boy's wrist. It startled Stiles and he was slightly scared. Was his dad mad? Did he screw up? He'd never be late again. 

When he looked at John he did not see anger but fear, internist clearness. John looked around as if it was his first time seeing the world. What greeted his was a clean house, hot dinner and his eight year old son responsible for it all. Shame blanketed his features what had he done. He left his son in his grief. His son who was going through the same pain as he.  He noticed the food that was served in front of him. It was not only one of his wife's personal, but one of the relatively healthier options. It contained all food groups and everything. 

He looked up and noticed that pinched look of pained hope in his boy's eyes. John knew his son so he could tell by that look he knew. "You know." It was a statement, a simple fact. 

"You were getting worse, so I researched, Soulmates conjoined deaths. Its a percentile of almost 99.9% . You didn't think doctors or people wouldn't wait for it? Everyone's acting weird "

 

After that day John stopped drinking. He scheduled routine doctor appointments. there was nothing the doctors could do about his vision.He learned how to deal with permanent color blindness.  Even learned to differentiate between some colors.

 It pained him to find out he was blind to his own son's pain. He discovered  his son's nest and almost had a panic attack himself. He told Stiles that from then on if he has an attack at night to go to John's room but that didn't always happen.

They would get through this together.

 

 

The stupidest things would trigger a panic attack; his mother's perfume, her favorite dress, certain jewelry she frequently wore, and words. Words like; heart, forever, mother, mommy, life, death, mate, love, soul, soulmate _soulmate **soulmate.**_

 

He couldn't take it when his dad came home from a doctor's appointment and they said he would have a heart condition in the near future. His mother had literally broke his heart.

 

Soulmates were supposed to be there for you. Not die! What's so great about soulmates if they leave you behind. He didn't blame his mother, he blamed the world, God, fate, whomever made this stupid thing called love. Stiles was working himself into a panic attack. In a hyperventilating state he searched his room for the last gift his mother was able to give him. It was a pocket knife since he loved camping. He used his treasure to cut a slit very near his beeping chip. He then ran to the bathroom and grabbed tweezers and shoved them into the cut. He searched of the offending piece of machinery and when he couldn't find it he threw the tweezers into the sink with a frustrated scream. His father rushed to him at that point.

"I don't want it!"  stiles screamed. His father grabbed his wrist and wrapped it with a damp cloth. Stiles tried to pull his arm away sobbing the words like a chant. His father wrapped it as best he could before he called a friend and herded Stiles out to the car.

It was a short drive then they were rushing out and into a house. It was loud and confusing for a while. Stiles was situated in the kitchen of his woman's home (whom he's never met) while she worked on his wrist. The cut wasn't deep enough to cut veins but still needed stitches. She stitched him up while saying he was brave and his father was an idiot.

He ended up getting 4 stitches and she gave him a Popsicle stick before dragging his father into the next room where a screaming match took place. The walls weren't very thick and Stiles could hear most of what they said. _" It's just grief Melissa, he doesn't need to go to a center!"_ his father's voice filtered through the walls.

A young boy about Stiles' age walked in and interrupted Stiles' eavesdropping. "Hey" the goofy boy grinned. What did he have the right to grin during times like this. Stiles ignored him not liking his positive nature.  The boy looked solemn before sitting across from Stiles " It's alright, mom fights with my dad too. " the boy said gently. The room fell silent again and the walls muffle the words of their parents. They heard a strange noise, very 8 bit like. when it chirps again it almost sounds like farfetch from Stiles' Pokemon gameboy games.

Stiles locates the noise by the next time it goes off. The beeper had been damaged.  It took the other boy a few moments to figure out where the noise was coming from and it was in that moment he noticed Stiles' bandaged wrist. "What happened?" the boy asked.

"Broken wrist." Stiles said the first thing that he could think of.

 "Oh. I'm Scott. Who are you?"

 "Stiles"

"Cool name. So do you have a beeper?" Scott asks the obvious.

Stiles sighed sadly "yeah"

"This young? Mom says I'm not allowed." Scott comments almost judgingly

They could still hear yelling from the other room. ' _Children are fickle with their emotions'_   they heard the shrill feminine voice of Malissa. 

 _'it was this choice.'_ John yelled back just as forcefully.

"So... do you go to beacon hills elementary" Scott asked in attempts to distract Stiles for the distressing screaming match in the next room.

"Yeah, I have Miss Mills" Stiles said

"Ah, I have Mrs. Sarvor's class."

 

Stiles visits the McCall (he learns) house. John sets Stiles up with a therapist. During recess Stiles and Scott would find each other and talk or sometimes sit quietly together. Whenever anyone asked about the wrap or the odd noise, a broken wrist was becoming the common excuse. The psychologist put him on panic meds and Adderall it helped greatly.

 

Stiles ended up relapsing and antidepressants were thrown into the mix.

 Age: 10

A few years had passed. Stiles had up and down days. His cutting happened less and less. Oddly, helping Scott through his parents separation helped Stiles. Having learned some soulmates don't work out. In Ralph and Melissa's case it was because of Scott. Stiles learn through eavesdropping that they used to be a good couple but when a child was thrown into the mix they were just too stressed out to handle it. Ralph never wanted kids, Melissa's mother instincts were too strong not to. Nursing help but when she got pregnant she was not going to give up the baby much to Ralph's disappointment.

 

**I was confused by the powers that be,**

**forgetting names and faces,**

**Passers by, were looking at me,**

**as if they could erase it.**

 

**Baby...did you forget to take your meds?**

 

**I was alone, staring over the ledge,**

**Trying my best not to forget,**

Age: 14

Scott found his soulmate the first day back to school his eighth grade year. It was unfair really. He didn't even have a beeper. He knew purely based on his mark, "thanks" could have been anyone if you asked Stiles. The past few years have been great. Just him and Scott no worries of soulmates or his broken beeper. The lacrosse team got used to the odd sounds and  soulmates were too sacred to joke about so everyone left him alone about it. They were just a couple of broken bros trying to make it in this fucked up world. Now he had to add Alison into the equation. Scott's bright face will look at her  instead of him. Half of his motivation left when Alison appeared. 

She made Scott happy though. Stiles didn't deny that. Stiles couldn't deny him of it either. Just because his experiences with soulmates were shit doesn't need Scott's had to be.

 

Watching the new power couple was crippling. Stiles found himself scoffing with disgust half of the time. Its been 3 months since they got together. Now that it's winter Stiles hoped it would calm down but no. No it only got worse. Now they are ice skating and cuddling and having coffee date and all that others type a couple bullshit.

 

Stiles' resolve was weakening. Scott and Allison are now together for a little over 5 months. Valentines Day is in two weeks. Stiles is not sure if he can make it. They are too cute and he's sick of it. Lunch with them today just bombed. The two of them were being all cute and cuddly while Stiles sat across from them. Scott said "I love you" offhandedly then paused with wide eyes. It didn't take a genius to discover they never said those three words to each other. Alison stared wide eyed at him before kissing him and saying it back.

Stiles wanted to throw up then and there but he stopped himself. Instead he didn't finish his lunch and ignored them.

His nausea lasted even after school. Miss McCall picked all three of them up. (it was her turn in the rotation) and drop Stiles off first. They all lived near each other and Stiles lived closest to the school.

Stiles meandered into his house not feeling up to anything. He decided to take a hot bath and hope he'd feel better. Hot water to loosen his tense muscles and stressed mind. He walked up the steps to his room. He set out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt on his bed before making his way to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror as he took off his clothing. He couldn't help it. Lacrosse had toned him up a bit and he was checking out his new hotter body.

Not much had actually changed but he couldn't help comparing as he stripped another article of clothing. First his shirt, he looked at his biceps. Then his under shirt where he examined his smooth but not ripped abs. His jeans were next, but something was different. Majorly. When tuning his left leg to inspect his thighs he noticed words. Thick letters made up six words. Each word made up its own line and together they made a sentence in a diagonal going down his inner thigh. Each word more biting than the last, each more hurting. He got his soul mark and his stomach dropped. 

He'd been a late bloomer. Most people got their soul marks before they turned 12 or puberty. Scott was no exception. Soul marks are supposed to be a happy occasion but for Stiles it was not. For more than one reason. Yes he hated soulmates, yes he's had bad experiences and to add to the list was his soul mate doesn't even want him.

He knows this because in big thick black letters were the words.

_Stay_

_The  
_

_**Fuck** _

_Away  
_

_From  
_

_Me_

 He ended up retching in the toilet close by. By the end of it he was dry heaving. Dry heaving quickly turned into hyperventilating  which turned into an anxiety attack. His panic fuddled mind led him downstairs in nothing but his boxers. In the kitchen he was able to find a sharp kitchen knife. He used the blade to slice a deep gash across his wrist. He held his bleeding wrist over the sink, his knife clattered against the metal of the sink. That was when Stiles heard the tell-tale signs of his father coming home. John called out Stiles' name and the boy ended up sobbing. He didn't think. He wasn't paying attention and he didn't think.

Stiles fell to the floor in sobs and john ran to the kitchen. His son cradled his arm to his chest in weak efforts to hide his wrist.  John was phoning an ambulance before he made it to the ground with his son. John clutched his boy and put pressure on the wound with a damp cloth. they got him on an IV as soon as the Ambulance arrived.

Stiles had to get surgery and needed 3 pints of blood. He almost died twice while on the table.

He woke up the next day heavily drugged and in handcuffs. His father sat beside him in his uniform. It had to be hard on him. He lost his wife, almost lost his son and now he had to put his only son in juvie.

Stiles was emitted into a psychiatric center. It took a few weeks to calm him down. The meds made him numb. Several doctors tried to talk him into living. He just lost all hope, the only things left for him were his father and Scott.  Scott felt terrible. He missed the signs and wasn't there in Stiles' times of need. In fact he added to his pain. It made it worse that he couldn't visit Stiles since only family was allowed in.

A few months passed and Stiles stabilized. It was then he was put on trial. Suicide was one of the worst crimes that could be committed. It kills not only you but your innocent soulmate as well. Stiles didn't care, his soulmate could die. To reject him before even meeting him, that was the worst crime.

The court sentenced him with extended rehab and community service as well as 2 years on probation. His age is what saved him, kept him out of the papers and kept his punishment low as well as his honest to god metal instability.

**Age: 15**

He got out of rehab six months later.  But he still had regular check ups and a support group. His doctors checked him for fresh cuts each visit. They kept him heavy on anti-depressants but it never helped. Being the master mind that he is he decided on a slower less noticeable way to die. He made portions for 1 and told his dad he already ate. He only really ate when others

 were around. He'd eat a full lunch so his friends wouldn't notice but often times that would be his only meal of the day. Joice or water would hold off the hunger pains. It was a slow process but it somehow made Stiles feel better. Like he deserved the punishment. He felt remorse for his actions. Maybe his soulmate had a right to hate him. He wasn't worth it. 

His appointments started to lessen and grew further apart. When the grew to be three times a year, every four months he started to cut on again off again. But this time it was not limited to his wrist.

**Age: 19**

He graduated as salutatorian of his class even with missing half of his eighth and ninth grade years. He applied to the local college and was easily accepted. He stuck close to Scott and Alison but lingered far enough on the edge to meet the beautiful Cora. Cora was his stone. Strong, confident, energetic and kind. She became what Scott used to be to him before he met Alison.

Cora helped him immensely but he still had his bad days. Isaac, Stiles' roommate tried to help too. The boy had gone through a lot already. Which is what drew the two of them to each other. Isaac was kind and much like a puppy, wanting to help even if too scared too.  Stiles was just too damaged to try. 

Stiles was with Cora when he ran into Scott and Alison. Scott had offhandedly said something that hurt Stiles earlier in the week. Cora had told him to confront him about it and she wasn't going to pass this moment up.  She nudged Stiles forward but he only shrunk back. She called Scott out before the passing couple could get too far. When Stiles made it evident he was not going to say anything she did. She started by saying that Scott hurt his friend but Scott suggested he knew Stiles better than her. That he's loud and states what's on his mind. So if something were wrong he'd know.

But in fact that was false. It was a defense mechanism much like sarcasm. Scott wouldn't believe her though. Cora got frustrated and rose her voice which led Alison to say the worst.

"In these situations my mother would always say 'why don't you put down the mad dog' and Stiles i don't know where you picked her up at but she is a mad dog. A mutt really" That's what led them to this. The girls screamed at each other and the boys fought to keep them at bay. When Scott got out of hand and got physical.

Stiles pushed Scott back , dragging him away chastising him.Then a fifth party arrived. A much older man whose appearance had been described to him several times. Derek Hale, son of Talia Hale and older brother to Cora. The man momma beared Cora into a strategic retreat. When Alison screamed out cowered.

Stiles yelled at her before running out toward Derek, but amongst all the commotion one noise rang true. A mutilated noise of a Farfetch'd calling out it's alarm. He called out "Guys" several times hoping to slow them down. "Cora" his weak voice tried. She faltered before taking lead on the retreat.

Stiles reached for Derek grabbing him. He needed to stop him. He couldn't let him go, not yet, not without trying.

Derek turned and ripped his shoulder out of the boy's weak hold. "Stay the Fuck away from me."

Stiles' blood ran cold as liquid nitrogen poured out from those lips. His day had gone from bad to worse to worst in the matter of moments. His own voice had not been that dead since the psych ward. "Please, Derek it's not my fault." Tears slipped down his cheek as Derek turned away.

He knew it. He knew. But the physical rejection hurt worse than the vocal. When Derek drove away Stiles ran.

 

**Maybe we're victims of fate**

**We'd drink and get high until late**

**And now we're all alone**

 

 **Protect me from what I want.**  

 

**Wedding bells ain't gonna chime**

**With both of us guilty of crime**

**And one of us sentenced to time**

 


End file.
